Monday, February 20, 2012

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Do you want to have God at the center of your dating relationship? Would you like God to influence the love you show another person? Here is some advice that can help you pursue God’s will in your dating relationship.

Steps

Remember that God’s Love is the ultimate. Knowing the love God has for you means that you do not have to seek fulfillment in how anyone makes you feel (a weakness of human love): the most perfect love comes from God, and it is always yours. He will do much more to fill the love-space than a person ever could. Approach your dating relationship knowing that God likes you and loves you, and there is plenty room for wonders of love, marriage, mature family love, i.e.: constancy (not fickleness) thus enabling you to build and love your own family, of course. (Christians: Always remember He sent His son, Jesus, to die for your sins.) Make sure you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life.
Know the ideal match for you. Date someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar desire for God, one that will build you up in your faith. If you are already in a relationship, positively encourage one another in pursuing God. Help your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep God the focus. Understand that Christians are not to be "unequally yolked" that is, if they are not willing to accept the faith, the relationship might have to be sacrificed.
Pray. Pray about your dating relationship. Give everything over to God. Let God know that you are asking His approval. Talk to God about the problems that arise. Thank Him for the opportunity to be in a relationship and the happy times you experience. You can also pray with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is a good way to help each other out with whatever stresses life brings. By praying together, you are experiencing God together. I would be very careful in doing this, though. The time you spend in prayer with the other person may bring you closer to them, but not necessarily closer to God. It could make the focus more about you two building intimacy. I would suggest each of you seeking after God and then being careful in what you divulge with each other.
Talk about God. Make an effort to bring God into your conversations. Not only will it help in keeping God on your minds, you will also find out about each others beliefs. Talking about a spiritual subject changes normal conversation into one of eternal significance. Discussing God also allows you to build up each others knowledge and confidence.
Read the Bible. Keeping God’s words in your heart helps you to remember the love and promises He has for you. Try reading the Bible together. It is fun, spiritual and good for conversation. Different verses will help you along the way in your relationship.
Get involved with Church. Make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend and you are active in the body of Christ. You will feel good about sharing God’s love. He calls us to serve Him. Find a bible study. Love on people. Find a church where you can be involved together.
Be careful with physical affection. Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly. Everyone is different. But if you feel guilty at all for actions, it may be good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might cause lustful thoughts (such as sitting on lap, laying on each other or sensual kissing and massages). Save sex for marriage. Talk about your physical actions with each other, making sure you are both comfortable and feeling great. Understand what might be innocent to one or another might very well be dangerous to you.
Show Christ’s love to each other. Make sacrifices for each other. Watch a chick flick. Go to a basketball game. Do not judge. Be willing to serve one another. Put one another above yourselves. Place their needs above your own. Find how to show love to each other. Use the love God has shown you and bring it to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Pursue the Fruits of the Spirit. Strive to maintain the traits of godliness. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, meekness, etc. This will work to relieve the relationship of worldly troubles.
Have Fun and Praise and Glorify God. Smile and know that God is with you. Enjoy the life that God has given the both of you. Whenever you get the chance, praise God for whatever He has poured into your life. Trust and know that God has your back. He wants what is best for the both of you.
Cherish your own personal God time. Make sure you spend time alone with God. You need moments of reading the Bible, journaling or praying just between you and God. Since God is your ultimate lover, it is good to have that alone time with Him.
Keep in mind the reality that God is real. While having a special someone can bring great happiness in this world, realizing the eternally wonderful nature of God’s love is something you do not want to miss. God is real. His love is real. God is love. Realize that God is working in your life right now. His forgiveness is real and His promises are real. Give the love God has given you to your boyfriend or girlfriend. God’s love is perfect. Let Christ’s love reign in your dating relationship. Let the love you have for each other be a banner to the world displaying God’s goodness. Remember though, "You are not your own, you were bought at a price" - therefore God must reign in your relationships. We are called to be holy, because He is holy. We might very well have to "hate [our] father and mother, [our] wife and children, [our] brothers and sisters--yes, even [our] own life--"; our dating relationships are no exception. Remember, as C.S. Lewis has said, that love that becomes a god, becomes a demon. Submit all your love, therefore, to the one that is Love, and He, like a gardener, shall prune our loves which are so fickle and temporary by nature, into beautiful gardens which we may share with all our relationships including our dating relationships.

Video

Tips

The Hollywood formula for relationships is: 1. Find the right person 2. Fall in love (focus on emotions) 3. Put all your hopes and dreams on that person 4. When it doesn't work assume you have the wrong person and start the process over with someone else.
However, God's formula for lasting relationships is: 1. Focus on becoming the right person 2. Walk in love (A choice to love someone when they need it the most but deserve it the least; agape) 3. Set your hopes and dreams on God (knowing that human relationships can't fulfill you or make you whole, only God can) 4. If that doesn't work, start again at step 1 (which is becoming the kind of person God wants you to be who is right person for your future spouse)
Useful Bible verses:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
“I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” Isaiah 61:10
Also try reading different Christian dating books.

Warnings

Be sure to guard your heart spiritually. Limit your fantasy and idle daydreaming and focus on reality--so daydream of how you may succeed in real-life goals: education, college, career and your own new-family as you grow up. Ask God to protect you from the total heartache of being desperate for "how a person can make you feel."
Avoid temporary relationships that sidetrack you from your real-life goals with things that will not stand over time--and for eternity--and can not satisfy your longings.
Remember that a person cannot fill the holes only God can fill. Do not set yourself up for disappointment. We are all merely human. Be willing to forgive and forget. Love as Christ would love. God loves you more than any man ever could. You keep running; don't stop. Just keep looking up to Him and be focused solely on him.
Remember that biblically speaking, unless the couple in question is married before God, they must abstain from sexual relations. Make sure both parties in question are aware of this and have agreed to be respectful.
Keep in mind God is first and should be the foundation and base of every relationship.

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

http://www.BibleGateway.com

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Have a God Centered Dating Relationship. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Getting ready for first date

How to Get Ready for a First Date (Teen)

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Breathe! It's okay to be a little nervous when it comes to the first date. Here are a few simple tips and tricks to look and feel your best!

Steps

Take at least an hour and a half maybe two hours before to get ready. Make a list of everything you want to get done before your first date, and calculate about how long it will take. (example: Taking a shower, blow-drying hair...)
Listen to empowering music, your favorite bands, or anything feel good and optimistic in the background.
Take a steam shower/bath. Apply/Rinse/Repeat shampoo and put conditioner or leave-in conditioner and keep it on for 20 minutes before rinsing. Wash your body to cleanse and have a good smell when you're on the date. When in the shower/bath, if needed, shave anything you feel needed (Legs, armpits...).
Towel/air-dry your hair and don't comb/brush though it until it's at least partially dry. For blow-drying/ironing, do it when hair is still damp and don't wait too much. Put some hair cream in it to keep it looking healthy and finger combing works best for not ruining done-hair.
Read magazines and helpful tips online from people with dating experience. Take dating quizzes, Google teen dating tips, talk to friends even. (Try CosmoGirl and Seventeen for teen dating advice)
Drink plenty of water. For a bit of taste add the juice from a lemon/orange/pomelo. Try to avoid anything fat or sugar-y the few hours before the date, so you can eat at the date and still look fit.
Do meditation before. Don't know how? Sit on a comfy couch, bean bag, floor, carpet... in a comfortable position that isn't slouched or lazy, (pick a spot away from people, somewhere private and quiet, close your eyes, and think happy thoughts. Don't think about the date, and don't analyze yourself or him. Think or something relaxing, something that makes you feel good. Don't have to be cheesy, but it has to be comforting. Do it with classical or Harmonica music in the back ground, and do it before you get dressed.
If you paint your nails, paint them in a color that matches your style. Do either something creative and wacky, or simple and basic. When it comes to nails, you can hardly go overboard, and its a good way to be expressive and make a statement without being judged.
Pick the outfit according to:
- The occasion
- Your style and personality
- The weather
Be self aware. When choosing an outfit know what flatters you, and what makes you feel more secure and comfy. Also depending on your age, if you're a young teen (12-13), wear something modest, and don't go overboard and try to act extremely provocatively, because that's bad at all ages, but at that age it's just wrong. If you're older, showing a little skin isn't bad, it's sexy if you flaunt a little. If you have a problem area, cover it up a bit, but put more focus onto one of your good parts (Examples: I hate my nose so I make my hair very pretty and glamorous, I hate my butt so I'm wearing black pants to make me look curvier and I'm wearing a V-neck to take all the attention to my well-shaped boobs.)
Put some thought into your underwear - as bad as it sounds, we all wanna look good under. Even if you aren't gonna get anywhere (hope you don't, you're still a teen), wear comfy underwear, something that won't be noticed from above (pantylines!) that are both unflattering and not keen to the eye. Wear something form-fitting and your size. Wear a bra if you need, ask a close friend or a female in your family if you're not sure if you need or not, and tell them to be frank. Wear a push-up bra only if you're a C-cup and under, or else it will look overt unless that's what you're going for.
When putting on make-up, go for the occasion. Just going ot the movies? Don't go overboard. Under 14? Definitely don't go overboard. Try in a few years seeing 13 year old girls wearing alot of make-up, and you'll feel sorry for them.
Put make-up on to highlight your good areas if you wear any rather than covering up bad ones. If you have beautiful eyes, put some eyeliner and mascara, those basic eye makeups always do best. If you have big eyes, don't put too much make-up on them, because naturally people will notice them more, and you'll just look funny. Put lip gloss and bronzer if you'd like, then you're out the door.
- If you have a zit, or a problem area, put oil-free make-up on it, just a pea size though, spread it a bit, then don't touch it anymore. Don't cover-up freckles, boys think they're cute.
Decide how to wear your hair. Most people prefer putting their hair down on dates, but I recommend trying out updos too. They make you look taller and longer, which makes you look thinner and it brings out eyes and makes you look more mature. Otherwise, don't always blow-dry. Fun waves and curls are fun too, and these days original, and it makes you look like a natural beauty. If you have curly hair, a pony tail looks the best, with a pair of nice earrings-that's real nice .
Pick good shoes. If you know you're going to be walking quite a bit then put shoes that match your outfit yet are walkable and comfy. Put high heels only after 14 yrs. old or so, or else you look silly, and make sure you know how to walk in them.
Brush your teeth. Bad breathe is a big turn-off, and it's especially useful if you want a goodnight kiss at the end of the date. Brushing and flossing on a regular basis is all you need. If you're still feeling insecure, take breathe-mints or sugar-free minty bubblegum, but it's not a replacement for actually brushing your teeth. Mouth wash when you're done.
Perfume/cologne. Wear something age appropriate. Try Victoria Secrets. Spray once on one of your wrists and then rub both wrists together. You can also put a few spritz in the air and walk into them. But don't go over-board, it's not a turn on.
Consider wearing deodorant. Perfume is not a replacement for deodorant. Deodorant is far more important that perfume. Put an extra deodorant in the purse you're taking to the date, and go to the bathroom one time during the date to put more on.
The bag/purse- organize it before you leave the house. Cellphone (don't text the entire date), iPod (if there are no embarrassing songs on it), keys, bubblegum, breathe-mints (take one every hour), deodorant, tissues, money, lip gloss (apply every half an hour, not in front of him).
Clean out your ears with a cotton swab, clean out your nose with a tissue, wash your hands, go to the bathroom before hand, and make sure your make-up didn't smudge.
Go easy on jewelery, but accessorize well. Wearing bracelets and necklaces that match and make a statement is always a plus, 1-3 rings are okay, earrings are always good (hoop earrings are a bit a few years ago though, best are studs and ones that stick close to the ear, or drops)Wear a cool belt, or a brooch to match your outfit and make it special, but it's on of those things where you can actually go over board. Don't go too kitschy, or cliche or out-there, especially if you're just going to the mall.
Remember that they are probably nervous too. Never talk about being nervous, it sounds good but it ends up being weird, good luck!

Tips

There is something important you need to understand: Keep calm. You will be nervous, and unsure of yourself, but never lose the inner confidence you know you have. Also, remember not to have too much mentally invested in this date. Even though you may really like this person, don't assume it's essential to have a successful date. In other words, when people say don't look too desperate, what they mean is don't feel desperate because that should not be the reason you are going out with this person in the first place.
Smile, but not too much, and try to really mean it.
Talk about things that actually interest you, and have something to do with them. Let them talk, or if they're just shy, help carry on the conversation lively but politely.
Be yourself, it's cheesy but if you want a chance with them...
Don't spill your guts out at him on the first date, don't be too intimidating and don't try hard-to-get on a date. I mean he already asked you out and you accepted, there's nothing hard-to-get about it.
Keep your cool, but laugh when needed and respond to things they say.
If they're a jerk, or you just don't seem to click, relax just live though this date, and say to yourself if you hate it this much there just won't be a next time.
Don't lead them on, if you're not interested in going out with them again, or even a good night kiss. Act like friends, and if they say anything awkward about loving you tell them politely and gently the feeling just isn't mutual.
Make body language, smile when they say something cute, accidentally bump knees or brush against each others hand... but don't go over-board and make it seem almost accidentally and cute. Don't be all over them, and don't make yourself look desperate.
Don't text during the date, especially not behind their back. If you know you're gonna have a busy phone that night, turn it off. It's not polite, and it's annoying to the guy. If you must make an emergency phone call, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, and make the call. Try not to make it last for more than a few minutes or else your date is going to wonder what you're doing.
Don't be afraid to eat in front of them. It shows self-confidence and laid-back qualities, something most people think is a turn-on. But don't stuff your face either, and try to not order the quarter pounder special at burger king when they ordered a small salad from the organic bar.
Be confident, tell yourself they accepted/asked you there. Meaning they liked you for who you are, even before this date.

Warnings

Try to avoid food that smell or get easily stuck in your teeth.
Laugh with them, but try not to offend them or go overboard with any joke.
Only go in for the kiss if you're really ready, never out of force or politeness, cause it's a lead-on and if it's your first kiss it's a waste.
Make sure not to seem overly emotional or joyed. It's more natural to smile and giggle at a joke than to full-out laugh.

Related wikiHows

How to Get Ready to Go Somewhere (for Girls)

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Get Ready for a First Date (Teen). All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Date

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
It can be difficult to strike a good balance when dating. How do you appear interested without coming off as desperate or needy? How do you get to know someone without being nosy or rude? And how do you figure out how a person feels about you--or tell them how you feel about them--without either of you feeling uncomfortable? Dating is a tricky business, but here are some guidelines that'll keep you in the mix.

Steps

Define your expectations. Why are you dating? What are you looking for? Do you want a lifetime commitment, or do you want to live completely in the moment? Whether or not you're seeking a commitment can make a difference in how you approach dating. If you're dating for fun and companionship, what matters most is how well you get along, right off the bat. If you're seeking a partner, you should be more willing to overlook initial shyness and awkwardness so that you can get to know a person over more than one date. Most of us are looking for a mixture of fun and commitment, but it's important to know where you stand so that you can figure out if your date is on the same page. Don't go out looking for a one-nighter.
Put yourself out there. You don't have to hit the bars or the clubs to meet new people (although you can, if that's something you enjoy doing anyway). Pursue interests and activities that mean a lot to you. The Internet has made this a whole lot easier. Check forums, listings, classifieds, and Internet mailing lists (known as "listservs") for local events or meetings that are likely to attract people with similar interests or passions. When you're there, be bold. If approaching someone you're interested in isn't really your style, you can still be bold by making yourself look approachable and inviting. Make eye contact, smile, raise your eyebrows--make a connection from across the room. Body Language is very important and can make someone interested in you. Don't cross your arms because that makes you look closed off.
Be selective. Don't just date anyone who shows an inkling of interest in you. Despite what everyone says about not judging a book by its cover, people who are more discriminating tend to be seen as more desirable[1] probably because having standards shows that you value yourself and aren't going for a date with whoever crosses your path. At the same time, you don't want to be too selective--if you keep holding out for the perfect person, you're guaranteed to miss out. If you're in a room full of people with similar interests, you should be able to pick out one or two people who you'd like to date--not 10, not 0. Make it a point to not leave the event without showing interest and making a connection with a few people. Trading phone numbers and meeting in person is often a sign that a person desires an actual relationship.
- If someone asks you on a date and you're not interested, avoid making excuses like "I'm busy" or "I'm not ready to date right now." They'll eventually see that you're only too busy for them, and they're the only one you're not ready to date. This can be more hurtful and insulting than just saying "no". Handle it gracefully. Smile and say "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer" and change the subject to ease any discomfort.
Make a good first impression. You want this person to enjoy the date, but you also want them to enjoy you as an individual, so be considerate and charming without looking or acting like someone you're definitely not. People who do a very good job molding their behavior to other people's expectations actually tend to have less satisfying relationships.[2] It's certainly possible--and beneficial for both you and your date--to make someone feel at ease without sacrificing your identity. Let them discover who you are (and don't swing to the other extreme, babbling about your life story and overwhelming them with too much information).
- Have good manners. Turn off your phone (the only reason you should be checking or answering your phone is if you're a doctor). Don't act uninterested or frown. Gazing off into space while s/he is eating/talking isn't good either, and makes it look like you want to get out as soon as possible. Concentrate on your date; don't check out anyone else, no matter how slick you think you might be about it.
- Don't talk about past relationships. This is a no-no and a sure turn-off. You will only project the impression that you are unable to let go. If your partner asks about your last relationship, just tell them that you realized the two of you weren't as compatible as you initially thought, so you have moved on to look for someone with whom to discover greater mutual happiness. Keep it brief and don't ask about their ex.
Be interested and interesting. Don’t exaggerate or boast about your credentials, successes, etc. Just tell them what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and what you want to leap out of bed to pursue. Ask them what they really love in life and what gets them excited. Feel the change in energy during this conversation and revel in it.
- Don't forget to add a spark of humor to your conversations. Humor can create a stronger bond of friendship between you two. It is also great to crack romantic jokes, as it brings up the possibility of what might happen between the two of you.
- Be positive. If you have had a bad day, still greet them with pleasure and a big smile. Don't show up for your date complaining about the traffic, your boss, or your job. If you must whine, whine a little during dinner and end that very short whine with a "glad I'm here with you now!" remark.
Avoid being smothering or obsessive. Never call, e-mail or text message more than once a day unless they reply. Continue with other activities and let them know you've got a life beyond dating. At the same time, don't get carried away with the "hard to get" act--the idea is to overcome any feeling that you "need" to call them, or you "need" to see them again, or you "need" this to work out. The difference between "needing" and "wanting" is patience.
- Don't plan another date too quickly. Your partner (and you) need time to assess your feelings about the date and prepare to accept another one. Within a short time after (1-7 days) call your partner and express your feelings about where to go next in the relationship (like one date at a time, or more dating, or less, or more casual, or more formal, or to cut it off, become friends, or what have you...).
Be honest. If you are not ready to be in a committed relationship, let them know straight away so that you do not give them false hope. If you're just not interested in a relationship with them anymore, tell them so. Don't lead them on. Explain that you just don't see it going anywhere. Don't say that you want to be friends unless you actually want to be friends and spend time with this person on a regular basis. If you are interested in seeing this person more often, honesty is still a critical ingredient to a healthy relationship!
Don't try too hard and allow spontaneity. Learn to relax and be original. If this relationship goes somewhere, leading to something deeper and more serious, your originality will hold great memories for the other half. We all appreciate the simple sweet gestures, or memories which are likely to bring warmth or a smile to our faces.

Video

Rules for Dating

Tips

Think about what makes someone come home from a first date and tell their friends, "Wow, my date was awesome! I had such a great time getting to know this person and can’t wait to see them again." Things that make a date truly memorable are often found in the mental more than the physical connections.
Although this is not always possible, try to become friends with the person in group situations before moving into one-on-one dating. This will help eliminate a lot of the awkwardness associated with first dates and give you a better sense of compatibility without any real commitment.
Male relatives and friends can be a great source for dating tips. Often times, their tips will involve chivalry, e.g., being a gentleman.
Although being a gentleman is good, do not overdo it. It will likely creep out your date.
Try phrasing the 'date' in a different context so that it reduces the expectations from the encounter. "Do you want to go and hang out at '_______ bar' and have a drink." If it is not going well you have saved yourself a meal and two more hours with someone who isn't compatible, and if it is going well you can move on to dinner.
When you've decided on where you're going on a date, its important to let a close friend or family member know where you've gone on your date. This is for your own safety. Additionally make sure you stick to the plans you've made and told your close friend!
Avoid disclosing personal information such as your finances, or specific details about where you live until you feel comfortable.
For any face to face meetings, always remember the '1,2,3'. 1: XYZ - Examine Your Zip, make sure it's not down! 2: Teeth! Make sure you've brushed them for optimal fresh breath and that there aren't any bits of dinner hanging around and 3. Condomise, make sure you've got a johnny on you, because who knows when the situation may arise, and not having a condom can completely kill it.

Warnings

Be safe, and be careful; if you're uncomfortable with your partner, politely end the date without feigning excuses. Being firm, polite, and honest in an uncomfortable situation is usually the best way to end a date gone awry.
Know when it's time to be serious with your partner and when to be humorous. No one likes her date to be joking around in a serious atmosphere.

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Date. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Dating Ideas

Monday, February 20, 2012

Christian Dating Tips

Christian Dating

How to Have a God Centered Dating Relationship

Steps

Video

Tips

Warnings

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

Getting ready for first date

How to Get Ready for a First Date (Teen)

Steps

Tips

Warnings

Related wikiHows

How to Date

How to Date

Steps

Video

Tips

Warnings

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

About Me

Blog Archive